Self-Indulgence & Getting "IT" Together

I've noticed lately that every time someone asks what I'm doing in Madrid, the conversation spirals into this (only seemingly, I hope) self-indulgent monologue. Checkmark all of the wonderful, soul-searching clichés:

• I've wanted to live in Spain for years!
• I never liked my career path!
• I don't want to work in an office; I want to sing!
• I wanted to try something different!
• The time was right in my life!

Blah, blah, bullshit...you get the point. Yep, I moved here exclusively for me. Helping some little ones learn to speak American (yeah, I said it - I am a language and culture assistant) is just a bonus. I know that may sound profoundly self-centered and selfish, but the point of it is really that I'm in a perpetual state of "getting myself together." I'm pretty sure that for approximately the last 6 years of my life (give or take just as many), anytime I catch up with a friend, no matter my mood, I conclude with, "ya know, just tryna get it together!" And I'm fine with that. I don't always make the best choices for getting "it" together...and oftentimes I realize that I'm not even exactly sure what "it" is...sheesh. But I have to try - and I do know that everything about my experience here is enriching the effort, just like everything before I got here led me up to the decision to come here. Whoa. I just made myself dizzy.

So, one of my latest efforts: an songwriting class. My left and right brains are probably both highly annoyed with me, but I know that my comfort zone for expanding my skillset tends to be in a classroom setting. I have made timid, feeble attempts at songwriting for years now, but always gave up or shoved them away in disgust and disappointment. A couple years ago, a dear friend sent me some instrumental tracks and asked me to write to them. He rebuffed my lyrics with irritation because they weren't songs...and it hit me: I don't understand this. I fully understanding that trial and error is the only true way to improve, but once I got serious about it trying, I accepted that I needed to satisfy that left-brain need to take some tests and get some grades. Maybe I'm feeding the wrong beast here, but I'm gathering my things, making progress...slowly but surely.

Throwback: Wandering Solo in Geneva & Lyon

the Lyon wind blowing through my hair ;)

Hey, 'member that time I went to Switzerland? And France? Huh? No? Oh snaaaaaap. It's because I didn't tell you. *slaps own wrist* Bad blogger.

At the beginning of November, I decided to take advantage of our first puente (literally, bridge, but more figuratively, a bridge to the weekend or long weekend) by exploring a new country. With my extra-long 5-day weekend, I wanted to make the most of, so I booked a flight to Geneva, Switzerland, which included a train trip to Lyon, France...solo. Looking back, maybe it was ambitious for my first solo vacation, but I suppose I was eager to join the legions of wanderlust-filled travel bloggers setting out on the open road against all odds.

Ok, once you've stopped laughing, please proceed.

Unlike most of my trips, where I meticulously prepare a spreadsheet of activities, locations, information resources and the like (again, stop laughing!), I didn't have much time to prepare for this trip, since I went waaaay overboard in my Halloween presentations at school. (Anybody need 200 plastic spider rings?) Yes, I had my Geneva hostel, Swiss train and Lyon boutique hotel booked, and fondue at the top of my "to-eat" list, but beyond that, I had no idea how I'd fill my days.

Long story short, I walked around...just...lookin', as my Chi-town girlfriends would say. Lookin'. I hate to say it, but I found Geneva rather boring. Even on the weekend, every restaurant and bar was quiet, ho-hum. There are some monuments and museums, but they didn't particularly interest me, so the only major thing I saw was the Jet D'Eau, a huge water fountain that was built for functional usage, and turned into a tourist attraction.

Behold: world's first ever VERTICAL panoramic photo. BOOM.

Lyon was a different story. I fell in love with the little town - it's friendly people, amazing food, and cultural sights all squeezed into one cute little walkable area. I wished I had stayed there for three days instead of one!

outside the Lyon courthouse at sunset...just beautiful!

A few tidbits:

• Fondue in Geneva: Suuuuper expensive, but I definitely expected it to be a decadent treat, and the only meal I purchased that day! I wish I had ordered raclette, which is essentially the same thing, in smaller portions, plus potatoes!

that cheese is hot!!

• Swiss chocolate: I got a bag of goodies from what is supposed to be the best chocolatier in Geneva (and at that price, they damn well better be), and I still would have preferred some gummi bears. Just not a chocolate lover.
• Swiss train: Lovely ride, very efficient systems, slightly scary security procedure.
• Street art: I've only recently realized how much I love seeing street art, and it's reflection about the people in that place.

free?

not street art, but this is how you know you're near a Black hair shop. Just look for Bey and Rih...

• All Saints' Day: I realized this was a big holiday in Spain, but didn't consider that it would be big elsewhere in Europe...Hence, I didn't have time to visit Musee des Beaux Arts, a major draw to Lyon for me. It also made it hella difficult to just get a croissant! Despite many closings, Lyon was beautiful!

how is this real?!

one of many moments where I felt like I was in the movie "Labyrinth"

• French cuisine: Wow. I had the best meal since I've arrived in Europe at a little cafe near the river, right by my hotel. Amazing. Here's another look in case you forgot.



NOMtastic

• Hostels: I am officially not about that life. However, mine was outside of St. Pierre Cathedral in Geneva - a lovely view - at least on the outside. Since this is not a Catholic cathedral, the inside is not decorated or adorned with any frescoes, stained glass, etc.

St. Pierre Cathedral

best thing in the hostel ;)

• And of course, other quaint little local things...

this ad would never fly in the US! 

my charming fellow bus rider in Geneva

my Lyon Drake-hands cabbie...all we listened to on the way to the airport

Truly, a solo trip is really the perfect time to step up your selfie game. For an exhaustive (like, seriously) look at my trip, check out my pics!

I know this isn't a great recap or review of these cities, but quite honestly, something more important happened on this trip. In addition to it being my first time taking a trip by myself - no one to meet up/have dinner/visit with - it was also my first time staying in a hostel and navigating for an extended period in a place where I don't know the language. Perhaps it shouldn't be a shock that that last item was a real kick in the boo-tay. I knew that Geneva, being a world business center, had a lot of English speakers. I didn't really expect it in Lyon, but there were plenty there, too...but I apparently didn't give much thought to what to expect or how to approach such a situation....

I found myself trying to bumble along with pointing, gesturing and giggling until I got a wakeup call from the man at the kebab place in Lyon. (Sue me, street meat sounded good.) I tried to guess the questions he was asking - I mean, ordering a kebab has a pretty standard procedure, right? But the bottom line was, and is, that I do not understand French. Not written. Not spoken. Like, AT. ALL. I didn't succeed in guessing the questions he was asking as I pointed at tomatoes and giggled toward lettuce. Finally, the man said, "DO. YOU. SPEAK. ENGLISH?" The grin slid off my face onto the grimy floor and I nodded a sheepish (don't all writers just die to use that adjective?! How Judy Blume of me. I digress.) confirmation.

Good thing I had a kebab because after that, the emotional eating was on. I felt like such a jerk. A typical tale of American arrogance in Europe. I knew good and well that French was not my schtick, so why did I essentially force this man into begging me to speak my native language? I was trying to be a jerk, obviously, but isn't perception everything? Wandering around France waiting for someone to ask me if I speak English? Sounds like a jerk. It was a humbling moment. I also realized that despite how much I enjoyed my independence and the sights in Lyon, I felt lonely. Failing to make a legit attempt at  actual communication with the people around me left me feeling very isolate. That evening taught me a lesson in informal diplomacy if nothing else. And what does GI Joe say? "Now you know, and knowing is half the battle."

a plaza in Geneva lit with tiny squares bearing greetings in languages from around the world. comforting :)